deficienthydra:

Reminder: it’s not crazy to still have hope.

duneslovestunes:

Funny, how you can miss the living hell out of someone, and you’re not even far from them. In fact, you see this person everyday; spend time with them everyday, yet still, you miss them. 

You don’t miss them because they’re gone. 

You miss them because one day, they’re going to be.

I realize I haven’t been posting much at all, so just stopping by to let you know my goal for the summer is to post more regularly— not sure how much yet.  I’ve been journaling (and tweeting, a bit) like no other the past few days, so between that and studying for finals/ finishing my final portfolios, I’m a pretty busy girl.  But since I got about 12 hours of sleep last night, didn’t have track the past two days, and my roommate is awake skyping her ex, I’m having some trouble falling asleep, so I figured I’ll write something short & sweet. 

I’ve been trying to live my last couple weeks of freshman year fearlessly, T-Swift inspired. (“I don’t think you should wait; I think you should speak now.” -Taylor Swift) One of my friends (maybe not one I’m closest to, but one I care about greatly) along with another one of my teammates and my coach have all announced that they won’t be returning next year, and I’m constantly being reminded of that this week.  It’s pretty frustrating, because I was already stressing out like a psychopath the past month or so thinking about leaving my friends.  More than finals and track and projects, I was thinking ahead to how uncomfortable the transition from school family to real family and home friends would be.  I really wanted to leave school and go home to see everyone, but I really didn’t want to leave the people at school.  So it makes sense that my finding out I’ll be losing friends and a coach worsened my newfound separation anxiety.  I want to tell everyone what they mean to me, pray that they’ll stay, and make the most of every second I have left with them before they leave. 

It sucks ass, but I guess this is a learning experience.  I’m often torn between wanting to spend every waking second with these people before they leave and wanting to distance myself as much as possible so we don’t get too close and make the leaving even worse, but I’ve decided on spending my time with them while I can.  I’d regret wasting this last chance to make great memories and have a great time, so even though I know that it isn’t going to last, I’m appreciating what I have while I have it.  I don’t want to be that person who looks back and thinks “You never know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone.”  I know what I have, and I don’t want it to be gone, but I’m going to love it while I’ve got it.  That’s what life is about, isn’t it?  Nothing is permanent, so you’ve just got to enjoy it while you can.